OK, he wasn't one of my dates, but he may only have noticed me because I was looking elsewhere. Internet dating agencies are a good idea, but ensure your expectations are low from the beginning. See it as a new way of meeting interesting people and if you meet someone special it's a bonus.
Most people expect to instantly meet the partner of their dreams, but it's just as unpredictable as real life. Match and DirectDating are probably the best in terms of good people. Udate probably works better if you read the Sun rather than the Guardian. And yes, internet dating worked for me! We are in our 60s now and met through Soulmates in the Guide five years ago. On Saturday mornings we sit and read the Guardian in the garden of the home we have bought together. Susanna C Greenwood, Norfolk. I joined Natural Friends.
Should I join a dating agency?
You don't have to be an earth mother and their membership was very reasonable. You can also browse members' details before joining. After meeting several likeable guys, I met my life partner. Obviously there is no guaranteed outcome, so it's important to go with the agency you trust. As for being desperate, the stigma is much less than it was. Get out and about Firstly, make sure you are happy with your life as it is. Dating will not "cure" any problems or personal issues. Secondly, get out as much as you can. Join anything that may interest you, contact every friend in your address book and say "yes" to every reasonable invitation.
Thirdly, research your ideal way to go looking - agencies, internet, speed dating etc. Be prepared to develop some understanding of what you are looking for in a date, which will help avoid unnecessary spending. Holiday with other singles Go on a singles holiday. At least then, even if there is no one you fancy you are sure to find someone you can get on with and have a laugh, and you're having a holiday into the bargain.
I went on three or four singles holidays - on the first one I met a man I went out with for two years and had a great holiday sailing in the Aegean as well. Whale of a time When I was single in the early nineties I had a whale of a time meeting scores of men through dating agencies. However, it was very expensive, some were better than others and not necessarily proportional to their cost. I met my partner more than 10 years ago when I answered his ad in the Guardian Soulmates feature. There's nothing wrong with being desperate, but try to enjoy the single state simultaneously!
Don't hunt desperately When I was single I tried speed dating and Soulmates instead of expensive dating agencies. The speed dating event was great fun 8 out of 12 men ticked me! My experiences made me feel that dating should be more about having a nice time and choosing someone I wanted to spend time with than desperately hunting for anyone who would have me. I stopped panicking about finding a man and met someone at work shortly afterwards. Oasis of eligible men Don't sit around and wait for someone just to turn up.
When I split up with my husband a few years ago I was shocked at how tough it was to meet decent single men. We have been a member for many years.
We take all complaints very seriously but this one is not real. Kind regards, Lorraine Marlow, Director or personal mobile www. Director, AP Attractive professionals have not taken my complaint seriously, and they certainly do not adhere to the Association of British Introduction Agencies' Code of Conduct. I requested the refund because Attractive Professionals clearly had no intention of providing any suitable matches and they have not provided the services for which I paid.
I first informed the agency of my dissatisfaction with the service by email on Thursday 15th September Attractive Professionals has now ceased to provide any service at all and I have consequently written to them to terminate my membership and request a full refund. They have not replied. I have always been very open and flexible in terms of matching criteria: I was willing to meet men within a wide radius and I was flexible about the age of prospective introductions. I would consider men in the age range of , as people age differently. If someone outside this age range seemed to the agency to be appropriate I would consider them too.
Since joining the agency eight months ago, I have received only one introduction where the man wanted to meet with a view to developing a relationship. The evidence is to the contrary. In fact, I declined only one suggestion and that was because he was severely disabled and confined to a wheelchair as he was paralysed from the chest downwards. The number of meetings have been low not because I dismissed profiles or declined meeting the men concerned, but because the recommendations or match suggestions sent were unsuitable and refused even to exchange telephone numbers to converse on the phone.
The majority obviously therefore thought I was not a suitable match or recommendation for them either Ms Medhurst encouraged me to agree to exchange numbers with her suggestions even though I believed many of them to be wholly unsuitable. Only one of the eleven suggestions sent by the agency should count as being anywhere near to an appropriate recommendation. Basic match making criteria has been ignored by my matchmaker; one of the recommendations sent was a smoker and I had said I did not want to be matched with men who smoked.
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Of course, Attractive Professionals should never have taken my money if they did not have appropriate people on their books or were unable to access them. I have requested a refund from Attractive Professionals but the agency refuses to engage in any discussion at all. The longer my membership continued, the more Attractive Professionals received in fees for 'work' done. Before joining, I had reservations because I found complaints against Attractive Professionals on the internet.
Ms Marlow emailed me to say the complaints were not genuine. Ms Medhurst was aware of this and she gave reassurances: Saturday, 18 June, Ms Medhurst claimed that: I joined the agency because I was led to believe I would receive a bespoke, personal and privileged service from Attractive Professionals. Nothing could have been further from my experience. I was welcomed into the agency by Ms Medhurst on Tuesday, 21 June 8: However, Attractive Professionals have failed to respond adequately to my complaints and, it would seem, to adhere to the AIBA Code of Practice, which states that: It is compulsory on all Members to accept the Code in its entirety.
If a client feels dissatisfied with their treatment by a Member they have a right to take this up with the Association. Email from Ms Medhurst sent Wednesday, 13 July, When I have complained Attractive Professionals have invariably made poor excuses. They have tried to twist things around and to make me feel personally at fault when they have been unable to find suitable matches; they have also become verbally aggressive. The company has alleged that I have been impolite.
Matchmaking is both a skill and an art
These allegations are false. I understand that the ABIA is supposed to be an independent regulatory body. I have asked the agency to explain: My trust and faith in Attractive Professionals has now been completely broken and the experience has been dreadful. Demoralising, humiliating, frustrating, a waste of time.
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There is something particularly unethical about this introduction agency taking large sums of money - purely for profit and yet under the guise of offering a good matchmaking service - from people who genuinely seek a partner, especially those who are lonely through bereavement and who are lone parents. Avoid Attractive Professionals If you managed to read through to the end without nodding off, you can probably see that Laura is a professional writer. We were subjected to reams and reams of writing and more phone calls than you could count. The kindest thing I can say about Laura is that we found her the most difficult and demanding client we've had in over 30 years of trading; we also know of two other agencies that she'd previously joined and both of those ended badly too.
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When she decided that we couldn't produce her ideal partner quickly enough for her, she turned her attentions on to those good folk at the ABIA who are only doing their best in a difficult industry. She harassed them with calls and emails to such an extent that they pleaded with us to ask her to desist. The Attractive Professionals Team. One of our team has been in dating since The rest of the family have joined along the way. When we come across someone like the client above, who is able to post a review online that is potentially damaging to our reputation and completely one sided, we feel we have to respond.
After she had been verbally aggressive to Margot, I took over her care. We had many long chats and I tried to reassure her that it only takes one person to turn hers into a success story.
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